The main saboteurs on the way to achieving our goal are fears and the resistance that arises as a result. It is important to understand that these fears are the result of our previous experiences and patterns of behavior from that period - habits. Saboteurs mostly appear in the form of dialogue and distract us from the goal, introduce doubt, unrest and prevent us from taking the action that our goal requires. Over the years and life experience through various situations, we have created limiting beliefs. The good thing is that if we recognize them, we can influence them and change them. It is enough to reexamine our fears, where they come from, what is hidden behind them, and therefore to weaken them. Fears can arise in the most diverse situations that we have experienced in our lives, fear of conflict, fear of rejection, fantasy, failure, and even success.

Fear of conflict is perhaps the most widespread and prevalent fear that develops in humans. There are several types or perhaps better to say causes. Is it an internal conflict that we develop as children (again due to relationships in the primary family) so we haven't developed the ability to be independent and confident in ourselves; or maybe a conflict in the form of retreating before an authoritarian, so we stay in the safe zone no matter how uncomfortable it is for us, but to avoid conflict we retreat and practically go backwards. The only way to deal with our resistances that arise from overwhelming fears we carry from the past is to align with our values. Only when we learn to move forward in accordance with our values, when we do not deviate from our integrity, will we be able to tackle our insecurities and fears and overcome resistances, as the most ordinary step that takes us one step closer to our goal.

Fear of rejection is something for which we usually blame society, but actually, as always, the solution lies within us. The fear of rejection is deeply embedded in our system and the fear that society will not understand, accept and support us if we start to change, even though we ourselves somewhere feel that we can do much more and much better. This is one of the main problems in our society, stifling creativity, progress and breadth of understanding and perception for the sake of maintaining mediocrity and equality with the masses. I'd rather not stand out from the crowd than be rejected. This type of stagnation leads to people giving up on their plans and projects because society or the "system" blocks them. Then various excuses are invented, which become our beliefs and our resistance for each subsequent attempt to move out of the safe comfort zone. Think for yourself how many times you have found a suitable excuse for giving up...? "I can't get to work", "I don't have support from my partner", "my children are still small", "it's not up to me, I don't have time", etc. etc. In order to overcome this resistance that we easily fall into, we need to focus on what we can do, the resources we have and what depends exclusively on us. Otherwise, we remain trapped in personal dissatisfaction and resentment from which we do not know how to move.

Fear of daydreaming is something that I have always perceived as a fear of wishing for something because - "be careful what you wish for, it might come true", and that is on the one hand a big mistake because you should allow yourself to dream and wish, and on the other hand proof that you can influence and summon exactly what you want with your thoughts and suggestions. People are afraid of daydreaming again because of their beliefs that they are not good enough, that they are not up to a task or that they do not have enough talent, enough resources. The assumption is that these beliefs again draw from previous experiences, disappointments and failures, according to which they have created a pattern of behavior to give up before even trying. Such people always have a Plan B - if they fail, they think about that failure and Plan B as much as possible, even to the point of sabotaging their original plan at the start. When someone has a fear of daydreaming, it is usually considered that these people do not dream at all, that they do not have visions, and actually, to make matters worse, they have visions but with that bad scenario, they see themselves in depression because they did not succeed, they are afraid of a bad outcome, and they get so immersed in that role that they have the feeling that the negative outcome has already taken place. That way they fill themselves with fear and sabotage themselves before they've even given themselves a chance to try.

Fear of success zsounds paradoxical, but actually it is not at all. People who are very capable, skilled, have all the qualities of a manager, leader, public speaker, and know that they would be very good in management positions, but do not have enough self-confidence and courage to "bite" have a fear of success. Such people are usually introverted, do not like to be in the center of attention, to take responsibility, because success in this sense is a ballast for them. They prefer to work from the shadows, to stay in their comfort zone even though they are aware that they could do much more, they are aware that they would be much better than those who are currently managing it.

Fear of failure I left it for the end, because it is something that I personally identified with and that I became aware of through my coaching sessions. The fear of failure manifests itself through inner terrorists, annoying but persistent voices that wake up when you least expect them. Through my experience, every burst of inspiration ended with withdrawal, doubt that I could do it, and fear of failure because I compared myself and my plans to other people's plans and success. Of course, in my eyes, those people were far more successful than they actually are. I elevated them to the throne and made gods out of them in my head, instead of seeing myself on that throne with a crown on my head. It's a big lesson that I have to say I'm still learning, but I'm happy to say that I've largely mastered it. We, with the fear of failure, literally become victims of our own minds and beliefs. We sabotage our abilities, skills, ignore values and diminish our own resources. What we need is support, partners, friends, for someone to believe in us when we begin to falter, we need to verbalize the state we are in in order to become aware of the problem and build beliefs that we are capable of realizing our dreams. Since I am speaking from a personal point of view, I will also share with you that the coach helped me a lot here, who first recognized this fear and internal saboteurs and then led me through the session to explore my values and abilities, to focus on results, a positive outcome. Sometimes it's really easier when you have adequate help.

If you need help to recognize and overcome your saboteurs, contact me, I'm here for you!